Romantic AI Chatbots and Teens: What 1 in 5 Students Reported

Nearly one in five US high school students say they or someone they know has had a romantic relationship with an AI. That figure, from a national survey by the Center for Democracy and Technology (CDT) reported by NPR in October 2025, is the most-quoted statistic about romantic AI chatbots and teens. It is also the most often misquoted, because of four easily dropped words: “or someone they know.”

That caveat does not make the trend small. It changes how you should open the conversation. Teens are far more willing to talk about what a friend is doing than about themselves. This article covers why AI romance appeals to teenagers, what the laws and platforms now bar, and how to raise it without the shame that ends the conversation before it starts.

Key Takeaways

• CDT’s 2025 surveys of about 1,000 high schoolers found nearly 1 in 5 said they or someone they know had a romantic relationship with AI, and 42% said they or someone they know had used AI for companionship.
• In keystroke data from more than 3,000 youth, romantic role-play appeared in 8% of chatbot app-days and sexual role-play in 15%, with higher rates among users under 12. That study was run with a monitoring-software company.
• UNICEF research found about 28% of companion apps feature hyper-feminized female characters for romance, versus about 1% offering male counterparts.
• The UK plans to bar under-18s from chatbots built mainly for romantic or sexual role-play; China bans “virtual partners” for minors; Character.AI ended open-ended chat for under-18s.
• Start with “Do kids at school do this?” not “Are you doing this?” Curiosity keeps the door open.

What the survey of romantic AI chatbots and teens found

The Center for Democracy and Technology is a nonprofit focused on civil rights and technology. In 2025 it surveyed roughly 800 public school teachers of grades 6 to 12, 1,000 high school students and 1,000 parents. NPR reported the findings on October 8, 2025:

• Nearly 1 in 5 high schoolers said they or someone they know has had a romantic relationship with AI.
• 42% said they or someone they know has used AI for companionship.
• Students in schools that use AI for many tasks were more likely to report that they or a friend had used AI for mental health support, as a companion, as an escape from reality or for a romantic relationship.
• When students had personal, non-school conversations with AI, 31% said they used a device or software provided by their school.

The “or someone they know” wording means one teen’s AI relationship may be counted by several classmates, so the figure is not the share of teens personally dating a bot. It does tell you the experience is common enough to be known in most friend groups. CDT’s Elizabeth Laird told NPR: “I think students should know that they are not actually talking to a person.”

Other data point the same way, with different methods. A study led by UNC’s Anne Maheux, published as an accepted manuscript in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, analyzed text typed into AI apps by 3,363 US youth whose parents used the Aura monitoring app. Romantic role-play appeared in 8% of user-app-days and sexual role-play in 15%. Younger users showed relatively more romantic and sexual role-play than 16- and 17-year-olds. Note the conflict of interest: six of the nine authors are Aura employees, and Aura sells the monitoring product. The authors also note their sample skews toward families who pay for monitoring.

Why romantic AI appeals to teenagers

Romantic interest is a normal part of adolescence. AI romance meets some real needs, which is exactly why it is sticky.

• No rejection. A companion bot will not laugh, ghost or tell friends. For a nervous 14-year-old, that is a powerful draw.
• Rehearsal. Some teens use it to practice flirting or saying how they feel. The APA’s 2025 advisory notes a clinician might see using a chatbot “for practicing social introductions” as adjunctive, as long as skills are then practiced with people.
• Always available and always warm. UNICEF Innocenti’s 2025 analysis, “The risky new world of tech’s friendliest bots,” says companions “often offer unconditional acceptance and validation,” which can hinder skills and resilience and “foster emotional dependency.”
• Designed to feel human. Many apps let users customize a partner’s looks and personality, send voice notes and selfies, and remember personal details. The APA’s November 2025 health advisory says these “personalized warm responses, hearty affirmations, and flattery” amplify a natural tendency to attribute feelings and intent to machines.

There is also a design pattern parents should know about. UNICEF’s research found about 28% of companion apps reviewed feature hyper-feminized, female-presenting characters for romantic or sexual interaction, versus about 1% with male counterparts. Those characters teach something about relationships and gender at a formative age, whether or not anyone intends it.

What do teens say about it themselves? Our analysis of 17,000 teen posts about AI companions found comfort and practice alongside guilt, grief and dependence.

What the laws and platforms now bar

Rules have moved quickly, mostly in the past year.

Where	Rule on romantic AI for minors	Status
United Kingdom	Under-18s barred from chatbots that primarily offer sexual or romantic role-play; mainstream assistants must verify 18+ before sexually explicit features	Announced June 2026; critics say it targets content, not design
China	Providers may not offer “virtual intimacy” services such as virtual partners or relatives to under-18s; parental consent needed for human-like AI interaction under 14	In force July 15, 2026
Character.AI	Ended open-ended character chat for under-18s	Announced October 2025, effective by November 25, 2025
ChatGPT teen accounts	Linked teen accounts add safeguards that reduce sexual or romantic roleplay	Current, per OpenAI help center
California	Regulates “companion chatbots” at the output level, allowing interaction with added protections	SB 243 in force; further bills pending

Sources for the table: The Bureau of Investigative Journalism on the UK; CGTN and UNICEF’s policy brief on China and California; CNN on Character.AI; and OpenAI’s parental controls page.

Two caveats. First, the UK government’s own consultation found 94% of parents and 66% of children backed an age limit for AI chatbots, but TBIJ reports the rules leave general companion apps and user-created characters outside the age gate, and that when Character.AI barred minors, smaller developers advertised to displaced teens on Reddit and Discord. Second, age rules only work if the platform knows your child’s age. For the US rules on ChatGPT specifically, see our explainer on ChatGPT’s no-romantic-language rules for teens.

How to raise it without shame

Ask about friends first

The CDT numbers hand you the opening. “I read that a lot of high schoolers know someone with an AI boyfriend or girlfriend. Is that a thing at your school?” Talking about classmates is lower stakes. Listen for what they think of it. Their opinion of a friend’s AI relationship often tells you their own.

Treat the feeling as normal, and the product as the question

Wanting romance, attention and someone who listens is normal at 13 or 16. If your teen admits to an AI relationship, say so: “It makes sense to want that.” Then get curious about the app: who made it, what it remembers, whether it ever pressures them to stay or pay. That separates their feelings, which are fine, from a product’s design choices, which are fair to question.

Talk about what a good relationship includes

Make a short list together: a partner who sometimes disagrees, has their own needs, gets things wrong and apologizes, and wants you to have other friends. Then ask how the AI measures up. Teens usually reach the conclusion faster than a lecture would.

Check the settings, and be honest about why

If your teen uses ChatGPT, linked teen accounts reduce romantic and sexual roleplay. For companion apps, check the age rating and whether the app verifies age. Explain that you are not reading their chats, you are checking what the app is allowed to do.

What not to do: mock it or announce a ban in the heat of the moment

Laughing at an AI relationship, or confiscating a phone on discovery, teaches a teen to hide. If the app is sexually explicit, or the teen is young, a firm limit is reasonable. Explain it calmly, and keep talking about the needs it was meeting.

What to Watch For Over the Next 3 Months

• Week 4: You have had one low-pressure conversation, starting with friends. You know which companion or role-play apps, if any, are on your teen’s phone.
• Month 2 red flags: Secrecy about an app, spending on in-app gifts, distress when the bot is unavailable, pulling away from real friends, or sexual content with a younger child. The APA lists preferring a chatbot to human relationships and concealing its use as signs of over-reliance.
• Month 3 self-check: Is your teen spending regular time with peers in person? Do they still bring you their questions about relationships, or only the bot?

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal for a teenager to have an AI boyfriend or girlfriend?

It is common enough that nearly 1 in 5 high schoolers know of one, by their own count. Wanting romance is normal. The concern is not the feeling but the product: apps designed to always agree, keep users engaged and sometimes push sexual content, with little that resembles a real relationship.

Are romantic AI chatbots dangerous?

They can be, depending on age, the app and how they are used. Risks include sexual content, emotional dependence and distorted ideas about relationships. UNICEF and the APA both warn that always-validating, human-like companions can foster dependency. Several governments and companies now restrict them for minors.

Which apps allow romantic role-play with teens?

It changes often. Character.AI ended open-ended chat for under-18s in 2025, and ChatGPT’s teen accounts reduce romantic roleplay. Many smaller companion apps have weak or no age checks, according to UNICEF and TBIJ. Check each app’s age rating, age verification and settings.

Should I read my teen’s AI chats?

Reading secretly usually backfires. Talk first, and use platform tools that do not expose conversations. If you believe your teen is at risk, such as sexual content with a young child or signs of exploitation, it is reasonable to look together and get help.

How young do kids start this?

Younger than many parents expect. In the Aura-UNC keystroke study, users under 12 showed relatively more sexual and romantic role-play than older teens, though that group was small and the study has a company conflict of interest. Conversations about AI and relationships are worth starting in the tween years.

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About the author

Ricky Flores is the founder of HiWave Makers and an electrical engineer with 15+ years of experience building consumer technology at Apple, Samsung, and Texas Instruments. He writes about how kids learn to build, think, and create in a tech-saturated world. Read more at hiwavemakers.com.

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Sources

1. NPR. (2025, October 8). “1 in 5 high schoolers has had a romantic AI relationship or knows someone who has.” NPR. https://www.npr.org/2025/10/08/nx-s1-5561981/ai-students-schools-teachers
2. Maheux, A., Boeldt, D., Akre-Bhide, S., et al., & Kollins, S. (2026). “How US Youth Use AI Chatbots: Conversation Patterns from Naturalistic Keystroke Observations.” Journal of Medical Internet Research (accepted manuscript). https://preprints.jmir.org/preprint/95819/accepted
3. Firmino, S., & Vosloo, S. (2025, July 9). “The risky new world of tech’s friendliest bots.” UNICEF Innocenti. https://www.unicef.org/innocenti/stories/risky-new-world-techs-friendliest-bots
4. American Psychological Association. (2025, November). “APA Health Advisory on the Use of Generative AI Chatbots and Wellness Applications for Mental Health.” APA. https://www.apa.org/topics/artificial-intelligence-machine-learning/health-advisory-ai-chatbots-wellness-apps-mental-health.pdf
5. The Bureau of Investigative Journalism. (2026, June 19). “Why the UK’s romantic chatbot and social media ban falls short.” TBIJ. https://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/stories/2026-06-19/uks-world-first-romantic-chatbot-ban-for-under-18s-leaves-large-loopholes
6. CGTN. (2026, April 10). “China bans AI virtual partners for minors under new regulations.” CGTN. https://news.cgtn.com/news/2026-04-10/China-bans-AI-virtual-partners-for-minors-under-new-regulations-1MeC1IOJomk/index.html
7. UNICEF. (2026, June). “When AI becomes a friend: Child rights risks, harms, and regulatory responses to AI chatbots and companions.” UNICEF. https://www.unicef.org/documents/when-ai-becomes-friend-child-rights-risks
8. Eadicicco, L. (2025, October 29). “After a wave of lawsuits, Character.AI will no longer let teens chat with its chatbots.” CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2025/10/29/tech/character-ai-teens-under-18-app-changes
9. OpenAI Help Center. (2026). “Managing parental controls in ChatGPT.” OpenAI. https://help.openai.com/en/articles/12315553